Happy Birthday, Dad

My sister and her kids in England hooked up with my dad (and me and another sister who are visiting him) via skype in Florida to wish him a Happy 80th.

Meet the Neighbors

I'm visiting my dad in Florida for his 80th birthday.

Met the new neighbor this morning.





The alligator is a small one, and won't be moved out of the lake (in a residential condominium complex) until it gets to be about 6 feet. Meanwhile, dog walkers beware.

I took a video of him, although my camera wasn't so steady. He started to lift his head, which is a sign he's about to take some action--I at least learned that from my high school years in Florida.

At the (McCracken) Zoo

Not one minute of slow down while back in the McCracken Zoo. But while I monkey around with nieces and nephews, graduations, sisters, childhood friends, shotgun weddings, too many bongs (not mine!), mom's mooching lodger, and a fellow guest at the B&B who hula hoops in the rain, here's a look at a more orderly zoo. This little clip was shot at the Vienna Zoo about a month ago.

Do Ask, Do Tell, and Get Out of Military Duty Forever

So I'm at dinner at the Benbows last night and Eileen and I are talking to her two little girls about who they want to marry, prompted by Ava announcing that she was minister of a playground ceremony that involved a blushing bride and a runaway groom.
Davon and Dion are out of the question for 6 y.o. Ava, and Trey and some other kid are options for Ella, the 8 y.o., although she won't admit it and gets flushed and anxious when both names are mentioned as future grooms.

"Olivia. I'd marry Olivia," says Ava.
"And then I wouldn't have to join the Army."

At which point I'm brought up to speed on an earlier discussion about the U.S. military's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy, which we now see can be masterfully manipulated.

Patti's Airline

After my transatlantic flight I've decided that if I had any sort of money I'd use it to start my own airline. The key would be that each passenger would be allowed to fly only by consensus of the other passengers. This would eliminate or cut down on the following:

Gumsmacking

Seatbacks as mattress

Proselytizing

Boy Drumming Fingers on Seatrest for 10 Hours

Child Kicking Seat

Farting

Woman Doing Tai Chi in Aisle

Man Doing Shoulder Presses Against Bathroom Door

Cackling

Grabbing My Seat to Lift Yourself Out of Your Own Seat

Child Squealing With Delight as Plane Plunges Suddenly Downward at 30,000 ft.

Farting

Farting

Farting

Shall I Scare the Bejeezus Out of You or Shall We Go For a Coffee?

I took Remi "hunting" for several days in a row, since I wanted her to hunt before the human hunters are back in action on May 1st.

She knows the word Hunting, which sets off a Pavlovian response: Ears Twitch, Eyes Bug, Lips Get Licked.

Her real hunt is for mice, snakes, etc... but chasing is included in the whole thing, so deer and jackrabbits are also part of a day out in the fields.

The first few days we went out, her little legs ranranran, lightning speed in pursuit of deer and jackrabbits.

But on about the fourth or fifth day there was a shift. Not sure what's up with the deer, but the jackrabbits no longer run away from her, and instead treat her like an old friend. She flushes them out and then they all sit together in the fields.

Her anti-social, Out for the Kill mindset has been replaced with a Happy Hour. 

Rx: Get Hit By a Bus

Aaah, my achin' back. Aaah, my achin' neck.

Can't. Move.

This happened while I was in Algeria last year and I was whisked off to see the publisher's husband, who was a plastic surgeon, but she assured me he would fix that neck right up.

Nadir The Interpreter kicked my ankle in a preemptive "Better not say no" kick.

The Algiers stop and go traffic on poorly paved roads--bouncing around in a van--did NOTHING for my neck, but it was child's play to what awaited.

We arrived at his office where Dr. Killme told two Muslim patients to take a hike, that he had an emergency.

I gingerly laid down on the bed. Nadir was on my left side, his hand on my shoulder.

The dr. said something in Farsi, Nadir Farsied back and then I was grabbed by both hands and yanked up... not to a seated position, but yanked like you'd pull a stuck pig. 

I flopped forward and then was violently yanked back.

Nadir's suit jacket kept coming in and out of my line of vision.

I tried shouting to him, as my body was flung back and forth at breakneck speed.

Can

I

Trust

Him

?

Nadir gives an affirmative "Yes." Later he said "Patricia, what was I SUPPOSED to say? 'Not with your life or mine, let's make a run for it....?!'

Yes, I said. 

Anyhow, after I was pushed and shoved, kicked, shot in the heart and pummeled for good measure, I left the office and, yes, in worse shape than when I showed up. Now, instead of having shooting pain radiating down the right side of my body, I also had shooting pain radiating down the left side, too.

I guess the objective was to just scare the pain away. The idea that if you get hit upside the head, nothing like another knock to set everything right again. But I would have had better luck running out in front of a bus.

Anyhow, Nadir and I still split our sides laughing at the rag doll patricia and her Lie Like a Rug interpreter... I made it out alive and ended up getting physical therapy from an expert.

So here I am again. Similar situation. Getting the whole spectrum of treatment so that this neck and back will settle down and let me live again--physical therapy, chiropractic, ultrasound and electric therapy--so how is that I come to think that getting little jolts of electricity shot into my neck is any different than getting violently flung around? In any case, one part of my treatment is missing, and that's Nadir.

Like a School Girl

You know, I was gonna write a real entry, but there is a cute guy sitting near me. Throws everything off kilter.

 At least there's no sign of Sauna Boy.